Taiyang, Coco and the Clitdick Calamity
by Troumvirate
Summary: It's International Women's Day in Remnant, and Glynda isn't happy. Then again she's never happy. What's her appeal? Will she be missed from the show? Probably not.


Shit be fucked up behind the scenes at Beacon Academy, yo.

One day Glynda had to take a massive shit because she eats as much as Gaston does in the 1991 Disney animated classic Beauty and the Beast. Think about it, this chick is like 6'5". She could wipe out an all you can eat buffet faster than an inbred family of fat rednecks coming from a NASCAR race. I'm amazed Glynda's voice isn't about eight octaves lower than it is, since she probably injected as much testosterone into her ass as Barry Bonds did in 2001. I feel sorry for any of the guys in the show who are shorter than this broad, like Ren. She could sit on him and it'd do more damage than a hit from an Ursa.

Anyway, when Glynda stepped into the stall she saw the wall next to her shaking. Using her mammoth she-man height she stood up from the toilet prior to letting her bowels rip and towered over the stall wall to see what all the commotion was from. Much to her shock and dismay she saw one of her students, Coco Adel, being pressed up against the stall with her short anime schoolgirl skirt up around her waist. Her meat gash was being mercilessly pounded by the man in Vale who could fuck anything, Taiyang Xiao Long.

This was inexcusable. Why was this little trollop getting some sweet, tanned blonde action while she wasn't? Coco was only eighteen. Glynda was a _real_ woman. She could bend Taiyang over and fuck him with her giant, blood-engorged, steroid clit until he was the one who got pregnant for a change. It wasn't fair. If she wasn't getting any action then no one should.

So being the unlikable cunt that she was, Glynda decided to piss on everyone's Cheerios. Or their Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes. We gotta make things show accurate by using the Remnant lexicon, right?

"Hey!" she cried out as the stall continued to shake. "What's going on here?"

Tai's hips continued to move as he punished the girl who was young enough to be his daughter. "Oh hey there, Glynda," he said with that winning smile of his. "Long time no see. You still work here?"

The bitch was insulted by the question. She was a critical part of the team. She had been here since the very first episode. She was part of the foundation of this company, I mean school. "Of course I still work here!" she snarled. "I'm a very important member of this staff! I contribute greatly to all of the projects!"

But Tai was more concerned with the younger and prettier woman who was now under him. Get it? Because "under him" could mean both that she works _for_ him, or that she is literally under him. It's the latter in this case. But get it? Eh? Ehhhhhhh? I know this joke would make more sense if it was Yang who he was talking about because of her voice actress, but incest is wrong. Hear that, Enabler fans? You people are sick. And this is coming from someone who's writing about giant clits and poop.

Whatever. The joke loses its humor if it has to be explained to you. If you're here reading this story I'm sure you get it.

"Yeah sure, whatever," Tai said dismissively. "I think people stopped caring about your role here years ago. There are much better teachers at Beacon now who can do what you do better. Like Qrow. He's a real professional."

Glynda scoffed, placing her hands on her hips trying to mimic what a woman would act like instead of a man in drag. "Excuse me? I worked hard to get where I am. Coco only got to where she is by sleeping with you!"

Never mind the fact that the only way Coco could have gotten into Beacon by sleeping with Tai was if she had done so at Signal. That would be pretty wrong too, since Coco would have been like 14 at the time. And I know that RWBY wants so badly to be anime, but I don't think the age of consent in Remnant is 14 like it is in Japan.

But Tai didn't care. He had much better things going on in his life than to worry about the shit that Glynda was spewing. Metaphorically of course, since Glynda had been distracted from taking her actual shit before it had even started. "Okay. Go away, Glynda. No one cares. No one even remembers what you've done anymore. I doubt you'll be missed if you never show up again."

So Glynda left the bathroom after that. She was furious, and expected all of the students and faculty to show her the support she deserved. But no one did. And only then did she realize that she was probably the least important and least liked teacher at Beacon. Someone like Oobleck contributed so much more. And was funny. But then he decided to throw a similar tantrum but nothing ever came from it.

Anyway. As you might expect Coco got pregnant because this is Tai we're talking about here. I think his goal is to impregnate enough women so that one day he will be able to have an entire Huntsman team consisting entirely of his children. He only got halfway there with Yang and Ruby. But a man can dream, right?

Taiyang is hands down the greatest character in RWBY. Not only does he bang chicks, but he gets to insult Yang and all she can do is sit there and take it. Then all of her fans cry and go to tumblr to talk about how much of a meanie pants he is.

The end.


End file.
